17 November, 2004
Stolen directly from Madley's blog by way of email from #3ga.

Layer One
name: Lauren D N S
birth date:
July 3rd, 1975
birthplace: Louisville, KY
current location: Louisville, KY- i've lived many mor places but i ended up back here and i'm pretty happy about it.
eye color: blue green/gray- but they change colors depending on what i wear and the weather.
color: currently dark blonde but soon to be highlighted
right about at 5 feet
righty or lefty: Lefty in almost all things
zodiac sign: Cancer- caution, i have mood swings

Layer Two
your heritage: Scotch Irish
the shoes you wore today: none yet but the ones I wore last night are adorable beige pumps with the sex kitten heels
your weakness: assuming i'm not good enough
your fears:
phobia- fish. greatest fear- realizing i'm not good enough
your perfect pizza: thin and crispy crust with light sauce and extra cheese and mushrooms and black olives
goal you'd like to achieve: motherhood

Layer Three
your most overused phrase on aim: "'cause that's how i roll."
your first waking thoughts: where's my purse?
your best physical feature: husband says it's my ass, i think it's my eyes.
your most missed memory: summer solstice 1996

Layer Four
pepsi or coke: RC with ice and a straw
mcdonald's or burger king: McDonald's
single or group dates: i'm married, any date would be a blessing at this point.
adidas or nike: adidas, but not for running. i'm built for comfort, not speed.
lipton ice tea or nestea: Neither. I like tea steeped not powdered.
chocolate or vanilla: i can't have both?
cappuccino or coffee: both depends on my mood – but usually coffee.

Layer Five
smoke: yes, but i'm in the process of cutting back and quitting
cuss: are you fucking kidding me?
sing: For fun, always.
take a shower everyday: yes
do you think you've been in love: yes
want to go to college: been there, done that. never graduated.
want to get married: yes, and since I am married that's a great thing.
believe in yourself:
most of the time...but that wasn't always the case
get motion sickness: sometimes.
think you're attractive: i'm definately cute.
think you're a health freak: um, no. but yoga's fun.
get along with your parent(s): i didn't always but i do now.
like thunderstorms: Yes -- unless I'm travelling in them.
play an instrument: took violin and flute lessons when i was little but i can't do either anymore.

Layer Six
in the past month...
drank alcohol: you have no idea
smoked: yes
done a drug: only those prescribed by my doctors
made out: all weekend...and some of it was even with my husband.
gone on a date:
did i mention that i'm married?
gone to the mall: yes, and in my favorite mall in Indy to boot!
eaten an entire box of oreos?: this month? no, but i had a lot of Hostess products in the house. ever, hell yes.
eaten sushi: nope, raw fish is just not dead enough for me to bring that close to my own personal body.
been on stage: not in the last month
been dumped:
sort of...
gone skating: No
made homemade cookies: Yep
dyed your hair: not yet, but today's looking good.
stolen anything: nope

Layer Seven
played a game that required removal of clothing: Yup
if so, was it mixed company: yup
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yup.
been caught "doing something": yup.
been called a tease: Not to my face
gotten beaten up: yes
shoplifted: yes
changed who you were to fit in: yes, all the time. but i'm done with that now.

Layer Eight
age you hope to be married: done it already
numbers and names of children: we're working on that
describe your dream wedding: the one i had.
how do you want to die: at age 90 in great health in my sleep on a plane on the way back from Vegas with all my friends
where you want to go to college: Already went to college
what do you want to be when you grow up: whole
what country would you most like to visit: South Africa

Layer Nine
number of drugs taken illegally: One
number of people i could trust with my life: 9
number of cds that i own: too many to count
number of piercings: 2 in each ear. almost got my nose pierced this year for my birthday but since i take Flonase he wouldn't do it.
number of tattoos: None -- yet.
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 4 or 5.
number of scars on my body: see the question about cd's
number of things in my past that i regret: a really really lot- but my goal is to live from now on with as few as possible.

Posted at 11:32 AM

16 November, 2004
of all time is......

How many people with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna ride bikes?


Posted at 3:40 PM


ya gonna hafta wait for the full story (those who haven't already gotten the lowdown already, anyway)until i get my pictures back. then someone's gonna hafta teach my ass how to put the pictures on here since i cannot figure out how to do it. until then, i leave you with this.

*I am SO had too much beer.
*All pretty gets you is an audition
*You are S-T-rugglin'
*Clogging for Jesus

when the remainder of my brain wakes back up the list will go on and on. and holy shit, i'm tired.

Posted at 9:37 AM

10 November, 2004
i'm pulling a Hunter S. Thompson and just gonna free associate today's entry. My grandmother, the crazy one, not the one who lives here because that one belongs to M and I refuse to take credit for her, called about an hour ago. She wants me to tell M to pick her up at 6pm on Thanksgiving Day so she can come to Thanksgiving dinner at my house. That made me cry a little. She used to have Thanksgiving every year at her house and she hated it. She complained starting about a month prior and then all through dinner (which she was not anywhere near sober at and therefore real honest ((but she calls it blunt)) to the point where people just kinda stopped wanting to go over there any time, including holidays) and for a few weeks afterwards. Happy mothafucking Holidays. For the past few years she hasn't been up to having Thanksgiving and I'd just take her a plate and drop it off on my way home from my other Grandmother's house. I was afraid she'd be upset that I'd just taken the reigns and decided on Thanksgiving at my house. Once again, I was wrong. She was thrilled and can't wait and is getting a new outfit for the occasion. She told me how proud she was of me for taking a holiday that I have previously dreaded (every year of my life. we get a bad case of thanksgiving grumpies in our family and i nearly always get hit full on in the face with it...but we're in perfect order by the time we arrive at our destinations ((or else)) and turned it around so it is something I actually look forward to and taking the traditions that usually make me miserable and instead make it a day that I know I'll enjoy, frantic and frazzled or not. Well, damn. Yea her for noticing! She's crazy, but every once in a while she picks up on stuff out of the blue (nun). So I've got a place set for Mo, my parents have taken a pass because they think they'll be too tuckered out after that big lunch and all, but all of M's family are coming dates and kids and all. Princess Protoge's mom even decided that even though she has her on Thanksgiving this year she'll drop her off here for dessert and M and I will drop her off in the morning. Wow. Her mom may have shit taste in Presidents but she knows when to come through for her daughter's Auntie Lo.

And to completely change the subject, sort of, but it's my damn blog and I can do it if I wanna...

What is that shit when people say they are just blunt? I have a friend...well not really friend, but my best friend from college's sister, H, who used to hang around us all the time back in the day who says she's blunt. I think "blunt" must be a codeword for "insensitive and mean". She claims to be a bitch and says she is blunt and then rips off with some of the most evil things that hurt all kindsa people, me, her sister, her parents, countless unsuspecting friends, and her brother not withstanding. Shheeeeeiiiit girl! I've gotten to the point where I have to go all preschool teacher on her and lay a little "this would be why you can't keep more than one friend at a time" and "some honesty is not meant to be shared if it's gonna hurt someone unneccessarily" on her. She says that everyone knows she's a bitch so it doesn't matter and they'll all get over it. Huh...but...wha? Okay, just because you give a disclaimer you aren't responsible for how they accept the information that their child is unattractive or that she like d their first husband better so it was a damn shame they cheated on her? Puhleeze! Major cop out. You cannot claim to be a bitch and a nice person at the same time unless you are a female golden retriever...although then I guess the "person" part would become suspect. But I digress... So we're in the middle of an amiable disagreement. I say she should probably take responsibility for her actions and not blame the unhappiness of her latest victim all on them and she says I'm a cunt and my mama dresses me funny. I guess we're either gonna agree to disagree or this reunion thing's gonna be a hoot.

Posted at 4:26 PM

08 November, 2004
Saturday was a good damn day. Let it be known that I am, in fact, an auction junkie. I don't go very often anymore because I have spent the last 6 months ridding this house of excess crap and I know if I go then Grandmonster will wanna go and she'll buy a shitload of useless things that we might have the room for now but I refuse to use that room for a few more piles of things we'll just have to rent another dumpster for in a few years. But after a couple of months without spending a Saturday in someone's driveway/garage/living room and buying their stuff I relented when I read the notice in the paper that there would be an estate sale here in my very neighborhood. And I took Grandmonster.

I took her with me with the caveat that I hold all the money, including hers, and I am the only one allowed to use the paddle. Okay pervs, I am referring to the paddle used to signal the autioneer and let him know that you are willing to go another dollar on that item or lot up for bids. Upon seeing something she was interested in having for her very own, Grandmonster was to come to me and ask what I thought about having said item in our possesion. Boy howdy, did I get good use of the word "No." on Saturday. She was trying to talk me into bidding on a lot of stuffed animals that play obnoxious music when you press their buttons. Yeah, if I see the 2 foot gorrilla that plays Wild Thang when you smoosh his belly in Walgreens I am almost sure to smoosh that belly and the bellies of all the other gorrillas on the shelf till I do the snort laugh, HOWEVER, I do not want that or any other gorrilla to come home with me because it is annoying. There's a big difference between annoying the piss out of your husband in the aisles of Walgreens and your husband annoying the piss out of you by buying the obnoxious toy and giving it to Grandmonster to put next to her TG shrine in the living room. Not happening. Because I have the checkbook, I am the one who dusts this shit, and I say NO, that's why.

But it was a gorgeous day for an auction. Clear skies, mild temperatures, slight breeze, and great visability that makes the auctioneers job of seeing me and my desire to win the item up for bid that much easier. Usually I am known to purchase only a few easily transportable items at any given auction, but since this one was in close enough proximity to my house that I knew we not only had the bungee cords to attach things to the trunk and get them home safely, we also knew quite a few of the people at the sale who'd be happy to make the quick trip back with us and our big stuff in their personal truck. YEA NEIGHBORS! So I'ma hafta say I made a haul on Saturday. I came home with stuff you wouldn't believe!

Since M and I were assured by my mother on the occasion of our marriage that she'd be giving us her china as a gift we never got around to registering for any of our own. Big mistake. Mom decided she liked hers and she would give it to us, just not right away. So Lola decided that she wanted some of her own, especially with the impending holiday meal coming up soon at my own personal house. Guess what I bought? Several four piece place settings of Noritake china, including a platter, sugar/creamer set, and gravy boat for a whopping $25, that's what I bought! It is stunning! Beautiful pattern of pink rosebuds with 10 carat gold inlay..

But wait...there's more. We're turning the basement into a game room, right? Yeah, I bought a bar. It's maple and a half moon shape and adorable. It cost me $30. Beats the hell out of the $200 I had allotted for a bar. Now we can afford the air hockey table...well, almost. It'll probably be spring before I know for sure if we're gonna get it, but the option is open. My other favorite purchase was the hats. This woman, Alma, had a collection of about 50 hats, all purchased between the 30's and 60's. I know this because she kept all her reciepts in the hat boxes. I bought a lot of them. A big lot. I'm going to wire them together and use them as a valance on one of the windows in the Paris room, which will go really well with the valance of purses that is on the other window in there. Cute does not even begin to describe it! Of course I have pulled several of the hats to actually wear, and I give a rat's ass if M thinks I look funny in the little pink one with the veil. I like it and I'm wearing it. And I pulled another few to add to Princes Protoge's dress up trunk. I. Can't. Wait!

As it turns out, Mrs. Davidson, the owner of the estate that was sold, has the same first name as Grandmonster. So when I saw the purse with the hot air balloons on it and opened it and it had the name "Alma" embossed on the inside I had to get it for her. And a picture frame. That's all she got. But I love my purchases and none of them are useless crap that's just gonna lay around so I think I did okay. And I have a china pattern. Did I mention that? Because I am straight up giddy over the prospect! Okay, I'ma make high tea today if anyone wants to come over.

The Hat lady

Posted at 1:06 PM

05 November, 2004
First and foremost she reminded me and my lovely wife that Mercury would be going into retrograde really soon. Now I am not a planet watcher but I'ma go out on a limb and say that the Mercury has hit the Retrograde...and all while I was napping. Yesterday was Isabelle day (YEA ISA) and while I was out cuddling babies and discovering new tickle spots that send her into gales of laughter (really, is there anything better than that?) everyone else was busy getting into big fights and making people cry. And since I took a well deserved nap when I got home I missed the festivities. I was too busy trying to stop Isa's crying to make anyone else cry and now I'm gonna cry.

I mean, I talked to people who sorta knew what was what but we were busy talking about "the other big thing that is inciting a new sort of life change for the good" for someone I dearly love. Hi, my name is Lola and I'm out of the big loop. In case you wanna get to Out of The Loop all you have to do is find me and take a left at the Big Chicken.

Here's something fun though, people think I'm in the loop. So I reap the whirlwind that the Loop Occupants recieve, but without all that pesky knowledge holding me back. I travel light. I'll send you a postcard. It'll be blank because the post office doesn't like to send things that say "whaa?...huh?...fuck." on them but it'll have a great postmark on it with a big loop and me standing in it.

So back to my original point (and you know it's bad when I actually attempt to make a point). Mecury in retrograde is a time of strife, yeah, we got that, but it is apparently also a time for the things that are needing a pick me up or needing our attention show up bright and clear so it's easier to spot them from a distance. My problem is, I didn't see this one coming and I had no idea that things were wrong. I've been doing good and keeping my own personal nose focused on things that I knew were wrong with me and here I am right in the middle of it again and I WASN'T EVEN THERE! Seriously, someone saw me yesterday, live and in person and being happily held hostage by a 1 and a half foot tall (but only if she's holding on to me while learning how to stand up) person with a killer smile and a giggle that'd make Donald Trump let go of his checkbook. I. Wasn't. There.

So how do I fix someone else's something without ignoring my new "mind yo bidness" rule?

And I need a haircut. Dammit, everything's always gotta happen all at the same time!

Posted at 1:03 PM

02 November, 2004
until every damn one of you get out and vote. now would be good. no, i don't care that it's raining because i know that somehow you'll come to the right conclusion and decide to not let the guy who is not your guy to have this election on a walk because you don't want to find your umbrella, ya big ass baby. no, i don't care who you vote for (okay, that's a big lie but i'm not about to try to talk you into or out of anything). vote. like now. like why are you still reading? all the cool people are doing it. if you don't vote then jennifer anniston will never love you or want to be your best friend. bradd pitt does not schtupp non voters. plus they give you that cool "i voted" sticker at the polls. you can shame all your friends into voting. tell them the brad pitt thing.

Posted at 9:18 AM

The Wild Flower
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