29 August, 2005
Remember a few weeks ago when I posted something about getting another dog? Well, it looks as though that might be a reality soon. My sister's friend called yesterday to say that the other girl who is interested in him is still unsure whether or not she can do it and Beagle Mama wants to make sure she has a good and reliable home waiting for him. She told the other girl that there is another couple interested in him who already has two beagles (that'd be us) so she was going to see how that worked out. She's bringing Copper over tonight to see how he does with Gus and Ruby and we're gonna go from there.

She'll be here at 7 so we can all meet. She told me how hard it will be for her to leave him but she knows she has to and wants to make sure he has the best forever home possible. I told her that I have no problem working out a great custody agreement so whenever she makes it back to the states she can pick him up and play with him to her heart's content. I know it would kill me to have to leave either Gus or Ruby so I'll do anything I can to make it as simple and painless as I can.

I have the puppy beds out and ready for napping and the toys evenly distributed around the house and special treats for all three dogs tonight. The puppies' couch is ready for action. the perimeter is secure so Copper can wander at his leisure. I've done everything in my power to make this go smoothly. It's all up to the beagles now, although since the breed is very sweet natured to begin with I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

Wish us luck.

Posted at 5:12 PM

23 August, 2005
Although the current and former inhabitants of the Gaza Strip have had a more satisfying home life than M and I recently, I have found a few happies here and there. I should. I've been looking damn hard for them. I am trying to blog today and am in no mood to rehash the stupid things that the crazy people in this house have said or done in the last few hours so it just might be time for a list.

I take solace in:

* Tivo. Remind me again why I waited so long to purchase this lil gadget? All this time I could have been Tivo-ing things like Mythbusters and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List and whatever movies that are playing on any number of movie channels that I haven't gotten around to watching because I'm too busy trying to work my schedule around The Surreal Life and Desperate Housewives. Now I can get up in the morning and watch the most recent episode of Weeds while I have my coffee. I also no longer have to rack my brain to remember what nights and times Big Brother is playing and can watch each episode at my leisure and replay Janelle saying "Suck it, Bitches" over and over ad nauseum. Teehee!

* Whole Foods. Most especially, the bakery at Whole Foods. Since the passing of his father M and I have been trying to eat more organically and slightly healthier. Now don't go expecting us to waste away or anything. There is such a thing as organic buttter, after all. But I spend a good 30% of my grocery budget on bakery items now. Sure, milk and eggs and meat and toilet paper are important. Just not as important as pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants) and Tuscan bread and tiramisu and lemon charlotte royal and cream cheese brownies and cakes with ganache I don't have to make. And don't even get me started on their cheese department. Any store that doesn't just have a cheese section or aisle, but a Cheese Department is gonna get my grocery dollar.

* I finally found a local coffee roasting company that will tide me over till Number 3 TX gets hers up and running. Plus, the new coffeemaker we bought has a timer so I can have a cup waiting for me when I wake up in the morning. That is happiness in a mug.

I realize it is a short list, however there is one item on it that makes up for a whole lot of stupidness hovering over my head as of late.

Are you ready for it?

You might want to prepare yourself.

* Kate Spade now makes iPod cases.

Dear Santa,

I have been a REALLY good girl this year.


Posted at 11:46 AM

20 August, 2005
I have been on tour with Ye Olde Goat Rodeo for a while now and it is most definitely affecting my blogging. Mostly because I have been trying, for the sanity of my dearest husband, to subscribe to the "If you don't have anything nice to say..." school of thought. The hits just keep on coming. However, if I don't get some of it out it is going to become toxic, so here it goes.

Grandmonster is not doing well. She hasn't eaten solid food in three months. You heard me correctly. Three months of Ensure and Jello. And that's on a good day. She can't walk without assistance anymore and she is so thin that her skin tears and bruises just from the pressure of her body weight (now 30 pounds lighter) on the pillow. More alarmingly, dementia has set in. She passed me in the hallway last night on her way back from the bathroom (supported by my MIL) and she didn't know who I was so she turned her back to me and faced the wall and wouldn't turn around or continue back towards her bed until I went downstairs and out of her eyesight.

The MIL is not being very helpful and is sticking to her lifelong plan of never telling the truth, ever. It was a full four days of M hounding her because it was obvious she was hiding something before we finally found out what that something was. Grandmonster goes in for exploratory surgery on the 31st. The MIL thought it would be best if she didn't tell M anything since his dad just died and all and still doesn't understand why that was the worst possible thing she could do. M is just fed up with all the lies that have kept him from being able to affectively deal with the shitstorms that occasionally...okay, regularly hit our lives. That is precisely what put him in and is keeping him in the depression he is going through now.

I am currently really proud of him because he talked with a grief couselor at his work who recommended that he get into some longer term counseling as the three sessions she was authorized to provide were not gonna cut it. He had me call my therapist and see if she or one of her partners would see him too. Unfortunately, I was a patient of hers before the insurance change and she is no longer in our network so she can't add him on as a client without us having to pay out of pocket. She did give us a list of recommendations that are in our network so we are moving on that right now.

Until M is doing better he is off work for medical leave. Although I am glad of that since I can take care of him better when he is right here, it doesn't leave me a whole lot of time for computer stuff. The cut in pay is gonna sting a little too, but we have a little savings that should tide us over till M is back on track. All I want is for him to be okay. (that and for the MIL to move out of this house, but whatever.)

Let's see, what else is happening? Well, my computer went poof and we had to get it fixed but it's running fine now and we got a couple of new games for it that have been very distracting. M is determined to beat me at the Scrabble type game (Word Symphony, live it, know it, love it, never get a thing done around the house again.). Yeah, good luck to him. Mo is not feeling her best again so M and I have been over there helping her and keeping her company. She decided she wanted a DVD player out of the blue so we hooked one up for her yesterday and took over some Mo-friendly movies. She's thrilled and much less bored. I told her "Welcome to the 20th century. Sooner or later we'll catch you up to the 21st."

It looks like we might be getting that other dog M has been talking about for a year now. A friend of my sister's is going out of the country for a year and needs a home for her beagle, Copper. (how much do you love that name? 'cause he's a HOUND DOG! Arrrooorooroo!) We are still discussing the fine points (like is this really a good time for a new dog, and are we getting him for life or just for a year, etc.) but I'll let you know as soon as we decide.

Okay, M finally woke up so I'm out. No promises to blog again soon till I know everyone here is safe ans sound, but I will promise to try.

Posted at 12:09 PM

09 August, 2005

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris.

The art, the fashion, the wine, the men!

Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park...

You'll love living in the most chic place on earth

What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)

Dur. I wish I were there right now. Where's my damn passport?

Posted at 11:09 AM

02 August, 2005
"Thirty two years of guesses and they were all wrong."

That was the sentence that broke my heart. M's father died yesterday morning. He got ready for work and his buddy picked him up. He mentioned that he wasn’t feeling quite right but he was going to go anyway. When they got to the carpet warehouse where they worked they began to load the truck. He collapsed. By the time the EMS got there he was too far gone to revive. He had a massive heart attack, no warning at all. He would have been 52 years old on December 31st of this year.

He and M's mom were married very young. They were 17 and 18 years old respectively. Needless to say things didn’t work out and he left when M was only a year and a half old. Twenty five years later, when he was working as a cable installer, he found himself on a routine call that turned out to be M's apartment. It took him the entire time he was working there to get the courage to tell the M who he was. At that time M was more than bitter and had not had any contact with him at all. M decided to test this father of his so when he was asked if there was anything he needed he said he needed some money, to the tune of $500. He wanted to see if his father would pony up the cash or disappear like he did last time. M didn’t hear from him again.

About two years ago I was doing some genealogy research on my side of the family and M asked on a whim if I could track down his father. I asked a friend who was good at these things to try and within a half hour we had his address and phone number. M wanted to reconnect but was too proud, too hurt to make the call. The piece of paper with the information is still in my desk drawer.

Today, after finding out through the obituary, I called the funeral home where the service will be held. I told them I was M's wife and that he wanted to get in contact with the remaining family (three aunts and several cousins) and asked if I could leave our number for them to call if they check in anytime soon. That is when I found out that they have been trying to reach him since it happened and that their first thoughts were of M. They left four separate numbers with the funeral home to give in case M called there. I also found out then that his father’s eldest sister, upon receiving the news of her brother's death, had a spell and had to be taken to the hospital where she had a mild heart attack.

We’ve been making calls and M has talked to everyone but the eldest sister, whom we will go visit at the hospital this evening. It turns out that he was always on their minds. When M asked for the $500 so many years ago his dad went directly to his sister's house. He told her about what happened. He was crying because he didn’t have the money. He never called back out of embarrassment, not out of lack of love. He was terrified that M hated him and still resented him for leaving. According to M's cousin, who he will meet for the first time this evening, he was talking about M less than three weeks ago and expressing regret at never calling him back.

On this end, M is going through some really tough things. All he had to go on was guesses to try to understand why things turned out this way. Why his dad never called back. Why he had never tried to find him. All the time both were yearning for a relationship, one of a young man wanting to know his father, one of an older man yearning to know his only child. All they had was guesses. Now all that is left is regrets.

I’ve talked to a few of his aunts today and both were thrilled to know M was happily married. They were relieved that we didn’t have children yet because M's father has wondered for so many years whether or not he had grandchildren. They are so happy we are trying to have kids now and have been assured that there would be no more regrets when it comes to keeping in contact with that side of the family. Our family has grown by the dozens this week and the love has grown exponentially. M grieves not only for a father, but for lost time and lost love, but we are celebrating the blessing we have received in the last several hours.

If there is someone you care about that you have a broken or lost relationship with, even if you think that it is long gone, do me a favor. Make a phone call. Send a card. Make contact. Find out if all is lost and if you think you might someday want to rekindle things do it today. Don't wait for this to happen to you. Don't let pride or hurt feelings get in the way of love, because that’s all that’s really worth anything in the end.

in memory of Eddie Snider December 31st, 1953- August 1st, 2005

Posted at 4:07 PM

01 August, 2005
That's what they are. Each and every one of their names are pronounced cray-zee-lay-dee, even the boy type ones. I'd get into it here but I learned something from the experience of someone in my family and I will not put names or identifiable characteristics on here in case of the longshot that one of them will figure out how to use this here new fangled internet and wander into my blog and make any number of threats. Since I can't put names and they don't deserve to have their names witheld to protect the guilty and criminally stupid I'll just move on to a new subject. Besides, I have been implementing any number of evil and vengeful plans so at least I'm entertained. (not naming names wasn't the only thing I learned. G-Diddy, you'd be so proud!)

So...in other news, congrats to the new parents! Heather and Chris welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world this weekend!!! I can't wait to meet Patrick Christopher live and in person! Welcome to the world sweet boy!

Topic #3 o' the day. The arrival of my Shindigs catalogue has given me today's moment of zen.

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Ann, don't let your hubby see this particular entry. I'm just saying. I mean, I am all for the funny that comes along with putting clothes on dogs but this? This is just mean.

And finally, a BIG thank you to Allie for once again finding me in the tree and showing up with a ladder. I'd still be mop up-able right now if it weren't for you. I heart you.

***pseudo non-update***
If you happen to be of the bored persuasion you might like to try flinging a random female figure around in a room of bubbles. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go here. Amazing what you can find on the internet.

Posted at 10:33 AM

The Wild Flower
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