28 September, 2005
That's my life. Well, hell. Y'all know that. You've been here.

For the past few days I've been taking care of my Grandmother, Mo. Apparently it is my lot in life to take care of somebody's grandparent. I'm thankful that this time it is my own and that I get the chance to spend some time with her. We have always gotten along (as long as I am not co-habitating with her) and are a lot alike. I don't know what that says about me because we all know she's nuts. It is the good kinda nuts though. Fortunately, since we are so alike I have insights on when she is feeding a line of crap to my parents and can tip them off. Unfortunately, since we are so similar, when she decides that she wants someone there with her she means me. She's decided that as soon as I get a car she wants to pay me to come over and cook and keep house for her. I loaded her up on food yesterday (shrimp sauteed in a pesto cream sauce over angel hair pasta for yesterday and a big pot of chili to take care of the next few days that I won't be able to get over there) and got as much cleaning done as I could. I've also convinced her to see her doctor about her "balance problem". She says it is her inner ear. We know otherwise, but whatever.

I took the new dog over there to introduce them. Mo is very fond of Copper and made me move off of the couch when she thought he wanted to sit where I was. That's normal. Copper has been doing great and is fitting in really well. He loves to play all the time. I forgot how much fun it was to play with a dog who doesn't get bored with toys in a few seconds. Of course, Copper's toys don't last much longer than a few minutes since his greatest joy in life is to destroy anything that claims to be indestructible. He's gone through about 25 toys since we've had him and just keeps coming back for more. He's such a good dog though. He will not play with anything that hasn't been given to him so I have no fear that my shoes or the cell phone or my remotes are in danger of being Copperized. His favorite game is tug o' war but he is having a great time learning how to fetch and M is having a great time having a reason to throw a football. Our biggest problem is Copper not fully understanding that he can't have the run of the upstairs portion of the house yet. I finally found a barricade that works yesterday so that makes my life a little easier when I have to leave the house and I can't take him with me.

We've made a little progress on the house front. No full details until we've got it completely done, but I'll let y'all know when that happens. We are finishing the kitchen this weekend. Okay, we're finishing all the kitchen projects that we already have the supplies for this weekend and will continue on it as we get the money to buy the very few remaining supplies. Either way, I will finally have my kitchen soon. That's a BIG yea! Hey, progress is progress.

We had "the money talk" with The MIL Monday night. She now knows that we will pay our share of the household bills but since The Spy is without a job she will be responsible for his bills until he starts to pay them himself. This could explain the fact that after she had a little talk with The Spy soon after ours he left the house bright and early the next morning and came home with employment. Nothing like unveiled threats to get the ball rolling, huh?

Posted at 11:01 AM

26 September, 2005
Remember when I said that I hoped The Spy lost his job for continuing to call in to work to spy on my ass? Well, I hope I win a million dollars.

Yup, he is currently unemployed. Also, his chances of currently being emplyable are nil considering that he doesn't leave this house except to go to the front porch to smoke. Personally, I think that is kinda silly anyway because everyone else has just started smoking in the house lately. M and I have kept to confined to the downstairs portion of the house but BIL #2 and his girlfriend were watching a football game in the living room on Saturday and puffing away.

For the record, no, I have no clue how The Spy will be paying his bills, but since he has been The MIL's butt monkey for several months now Ima make sure she knows who M and I feel is responsible for his financial security.

In other news, Mo is having a rough time of it lately. She isn't really eating. She said she would eat, but only if I brought her dinner every night. So, of course I'll be doing that. Seeing as I don't have a car and The Spy isn't doing anything else impotant, he's gonna be schlepping my ass to and from until further notice. Because if he doesn't I will find a way to cut off the air supply to his bedroom.

Let's see, what else? Oh, I got the sweetest call from my "baby brother" on Saturday. No, we didn't recently add another member to our family, D and I were pretty much raised together and have always considered each other siblings. I haven't talked to him in forever and I was so thrilled to hear from him. I now have his new cell phone number so I will be pestering him ad nauseum from now on. He is just the greatest guy ever. He's smart, funny, cute, accomplished, and phenominally talented. I couldn't be prouder of him if he personally brought me beer.

mmmmmmmm, beer. Is it too early for beer?

That's about it. I'm working on a new iPod playlist and I'm sure the fact that I have a raging case of PMS will color it slightly. I'll let you know how it turns out if I ever decide to crawl back out of it.

Posted at 9:44 AM

20 September, 2005
She's set her spy on me now. I guess to make sure that I don't steal grandmonster's Neil Diamond scrapbook. I tried to tell her that it is only actual diamonds I like but I don't think she listens too well. She was too busy stealing MY Noritake china.

The joke's on her though. Her spy doesn't wake up till about 5pm, and then he goes outside and smokes and talks on the phone to his girlfriend until 11. I could rob the place blind.

Hence the fact that there are no longer plastic lawn animals on the front porch.

Just so she knows, the fact that her spy is here and not at work means that when he can't come up with his share of the bills this month she gets to pay them. I hope he loses his job.

I guess I finally got to the pissed off place, huh? I'm going back to bed. The new season of Starting Over started yesterday. It is a couple's boot camp. I like to watch and laugh at their silly little problems. Then I send them emails and offer to trade. Plus, I want Iyanla's entire wardrobe. It looks like it doesn't touch a single part of her body. I can get into that. I think Ima get even fatter so I can wear stuff like that more often.

I am well on my way to reaching that goal. I had a bakedown (kinda like a breakdown but with shortening and sugar) yesterday and made 3 dozen blueberry muffins. Hey, we didn't want the pints of fresh blueberries in my fridge to go bad, did we?

Posted at 9:25 AM

18 September, 2005
I want to punch my MIL in the face. Is that wrong? I'd love to take one swing and hit the MIL and her husband simultaniously. However, since my mama raised me right I refrain both from hitting them and/or letting them know I really want to.

Sometimes being the good southern girl both sucks and blows at the same time.

Details possibly to follow at some point when I am a lot less angry.

Posted at 4:34 PM

12 September, 2005
I thought I'd have a blog entry just waiting at the tips of my fingers to post on here but I guess I'm not quite ready to do that yet. Instead I will post a very few facts and and continue to wade through the next few days until a solid post seems reasonable.

Grandmonster lost her battle with The Cancer around 3:00 am, Sunday September 11th. She was sleeping but woke up just a few seconds before she left. Visitation will be from 2-8 tomorrow (Tuesday September 13th) and the funeral is at 2pm on Wednesday.

The MIL dropped her basket.

We still have no details as to how any of the technical things will get worked out but I am still on the case.

As for me, I'm gritting my teeth and hangin' in there. As long as my bicuspids hold out I should be okay.

That's all.

The End.

Posted at 9:00 AM

10 September, 2005
That's something at least. Although MIL messed the homecoming plans up royally and I had to do a whole lot of desperate phone calling to make sure that all medical professionals involved realized she was home. MIL just sorta brought her home and neglected to let the doctors or hospice know her plans and then went bat guano when there was no hospice nurse scheduled to come over that night and no prescriptions ready to give her and no supplies to keep her healthy and infection free. Finally we have it mostly worked out to where Grandmonster no longer misses a dose of pain meds and the infection doesn't get any worse. It is a real, true miracle that she made it through Wednesday night. She spent the majority of it non-responsive and struggling for breath.

I taught MIL and the brothers how to use the oxygen machines and how to clean a G tube and administer meds. If only I could get it through to them that having a signed will is of the utmost importance. We're still working furiously on that one and have the help of BIL#2 and his girlfriend. Power of Attorney is going to be a struggle too.

I did get an actual phone message from T.G. Sheppard hisownself on Thursday night. He is going to defiantly call her and he is still trying to arrange his schedule to fly up here personally to show her some love. What an amazingly sweet and caring man. Again, I take back all the less than stellar things I have said about him. I'm not gonna take those entries off the blog or anything, I just won't say any more from now on. Hey, erasing the funny doesn't do anyone any good, after all. We all need the funny.

So the vigil still goes on. Grandmonster is happy to be home. The hospice nurse informed me the other night that it was a goal of Grandmonster to be at home and now she seems to have reached that goal and has stopped fighting. I'm not sure if that is good news or bad, but I'm really glad that she is where she wants to be and is comfortable.

In other news, we got the new dog. It was an emergency situation because he didn't have anywhere to go and his other Beagle Mama has already moved, leaving him homeless and squatting in a tiny apartment with an unfriendly dog. She brought him over on Tuesday to visit and see how things went with Gus and Ruby and he just never left. His name is Copper and he is so incredibly beautiful we can hardly stand it. He is still a little bit puppy (just over a year old) and is so playful. He loves toys and makes the rounds with every dog toy we have in the house and hasn't claimed anything that isn't a toy as his own. What a polite beagle! He runs and plays and LOVES the backyard. He grew up in apartments so he is having a great time going outside to play on his own anytime he wants. He prances around the backyard like a kid around a present covered Christmas tree. He sleeps on the bed with us and the other two dogs, with his pretty little head snuggled up on my knee and curled into a little ball of fuzz. We're taking pictures so as soon as I have some I'll post them.

Although it seemed like poor timing to get another dog, M is getting so much joy and smiles and laughs out of Copper that I have to re-evaluate my thoughts on it. I think it is perfect timing. A little time consuming but worth it. It seems to be harder and harder to get M to really smile so I'll take all the help I can get.

Okay, the hospice nurse is supposed to call soon so Ima get off the computer now. If you have any spare prayers just laying around we sure could use them. Thanks. Love you. Bye.


Posted at 11:53 AM

04 September, 2005
In the last 5 years since she was diagnosed with breast cancer, Grandmonster has had about eleventeen dozen attacks of the cancer. They usually occur any time M and I have something planned that doesn't include her, such as anniversaries or birthdays or Valentine's Days. They generally require us to put away any thought of doing anything together and drop everything and take care of her. And we pretty much do just that. And she is pretty much never having an attack of anything other than plain old jealousy. This was not one of those times.

For anyone who I haven't already gotten the word to yet, here's what has been going on here in the past few days. Grandmonster has still been vomiting and not getting better. The docs were stumped. The MIL maintained that it was due to acid reflux. The docs decided to do an exploratory surgery last Wednesday and see who was right. It wasn't The MIL. They opened Grandmonster up and closed her right back up. It is the cancer. The cancer has attacked. The cancer is gonna win. By Wednesday afternoon the doctors gave her a month at best. By Wednesday night it had been downgraded to a week. Now, Sunday afternoon, they aren't sure how she is still here. She will tentatively be released Tuesday to come home. We have the meeting with hospice on Monday. Until then we are just standing vigil and waiting for her to go, which hopefully won't happen till she is home.

We've been up there every day, but I've been trying to make it possible for M to be home by 8 every night. He obviously isn't taking things well and he can't stand to stay in the room with her for very long without breaking down. I've been spending the night with Grandmonster so The MIL doesn't have to stay there by herself and so I can field all transactions with any and all nurses since The MIL has effectively pissed them all off one by one and I don't want to see Grandmonster go without pain meds again.

On an up note, we now have T.G. Shepperd's actual home phone number. We've talked to his publicist and he is trying to do some rearranging. At the very worst Grandmonster is gonna get a phone call from T.G. himself. At best, the man is going to fly here to see her in person. I would like to officially take back every single bad thing I have ever said about him and issue a public apology. I took a cd player and three of his cd's and a Neil Diamond cd in on Thusday and have been happily listening to them since. Now I'm not planning on adding them on to my iPod or anything, but as far as I am concerned T.G. is good people. Grandmonster doesn't know anything about the possibility of a visit or phone call yet (and neither do The MIL or BIL #1, it has been strictly between M, BIL#2 and his girlfriend and myself) so if anyone plans to call DO NOT mention it, please. It's a surprise that we want to wait to unveil till we know the actual details, so SHHHHHHH.

The times I am not at the hospital I am making sure all the bills are paid and the shopping is done and the dogs are taken care of and everyone's kids have someone to watch them. (I'm watching Princess Protege now so her dad can spend some time with Grandmonster.) Unfortunately it also has fallen to me to make sure other affairs are in order (which they aren't but I'm getting as many ducks in a row as I can, considering) so if I'm slow on the updating in the near future this would be why.

"So how are you holding up, Lola?", you might ask. To which I would reply, "Not well, but I'm hanging in there." I'll have my breakdown. Just not for a while. M is still reeling from his father's death just one month ago and the second this hit him I knew it was more important for me to be the rock on this one than for us to lean on each other. (so sayeth the therapist as well)

So....okay. That's pretty much what's up here...most of it anyway. Anything I haven't gone into in this entry I am just SO not gonna deal with right now. Ima just throw those issues in my pocket and pull them out later like a forgotten $20 in your winter coat pocket. Except not nearly as much fun. Until then I am just gonna be really grateful for the people who love me and are taking care of me and checking in on me. I love y'all an awful lot and then some. I hope you know it.

Alright, I'm off to watch Grease 2 with the Princess. I am such the C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R.

Posted at 3:20 PM

The Wild Flower
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